I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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