To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
