You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
