I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
