i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
