2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize