Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
