why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
