I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize