Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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