yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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