Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think i got beer on your cat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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