My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
