The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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