At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize