she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
