id be glad to
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize