"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
