My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
