For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
