Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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