So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
