Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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