White coat. Heels.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
