remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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