it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
