People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
