Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
