if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize