Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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