Barsexuality is the new black.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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