forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
