Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
