Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
