ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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