then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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