He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
