i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
false alarm, still single
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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