i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize