My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
