We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
