Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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