She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
