I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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