I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
