im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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