this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
