we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
