Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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