susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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