Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
