Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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