i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize