i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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