I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
