Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
