a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize