So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize