I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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