I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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