They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
