i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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