i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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