Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
