he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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