now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to make out with him forever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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