did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
