I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
